In honor of the passing of Johnny Carson, a man funnier than Foster or The Leviathan can ever hope to be, I offer these snippets from his final monologue:
"The greatest accolade I think I received: G.E. named me 'Employee of the Month.'" [Editor's note: his show was the greatest moneymaker in NBC history, and at one point was 19% of the network's profits.]
"Farewells are a little awkward, and I really thought about this -- no joke -- wouldn't it be funny, instead of showing up tonight, putting on a rerun? NBC did not find that funny at all."
"During the run on the show there have been seven United States Presidents, and thankfully for comedy there have been eight Vice Presidents of the United States."
"And I said, well, I would prefer to end like we started -- rather quietly, in our same time slot, in front of our same shabby little set. It is rather shabby. We offered it to a homeless shelter and they said 'No, thank you.' I am taking the applause sign home -- putting it in the bedroom. And maybe once a week just turning it on."
And, finally, the way I hope I feel, said better than Nietzsche or Thoreau could, of a highlight reel: "If I could magically, somehow, that tape you just saw, make it run backwards. I would like to do the whole thing over again."
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3 comments:
For the record, I never said I was funnier than Johnny Carson. I said I was funnier than Jesus.
I think Bentley's got it just about right. Carson had it all: He gave Letterman his class, Leno his bedside manner, and Conan his secret affection for Toilet comedy. That being said, I'm of the opinion that Johnny lost the will to live after he heard that the man who brought us the Masturbating Bear and Bungy Baby Jesus was going to take over the reigns of the Tonight Show (after he watched it plucked from Letterman's hands in 93).
Also, for the record, I never said I was funnier than Carson, either. Just funnier than Leviathan
Lick my Kant
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