Even the staid New York Times couldn't resist saying "Burglars have broken into Democratic Party headquarters. No, you're not having a flashback to 1972 and the infamous event [boring New York Times recounting of "facts" "sensically"]". So I'm just going to take this as a warm-up, a practice: write a few jokes, and then dissect them. Your (better) jokes in comments.
- "Will this lead to John Lynch's downfall?" (he's the governor of New Hampshire; yes I looked it up)
- "It was probably Candians." Look, I don't think it's funny, but The Leviathan will. Not because of NH's proximity to Canadians, but because some nationalities send him all a-stitches. E.g., "Luxembourgians". I can hear him laughing already.
- "Maybe it's Zombie Nixon!" Wait, is there any other kind of Nixon?
- "New Hampshire? Isn't that in Vermont?" Look, it's late. Here at The Enfranchised, it's timely, funny, sensical: pick 1.
- "Maybe it was the Libertarians." That's not a joke; it's a warning. Those libertarians are fucking fierce, and they're coming for you. Consider yourself alerted.
Like I said, your (funnier) jokes in the comments.
1 comment:
-Rudy Guiliani's campaign is already pushing this as further evidence that Democrats are soft on crime.
-In light of the break-ins, New Hampshire is considering modifying its state motto to "live with the liberty afforded by a mutual respect for state and local criminal statutes or die"
-Democrat party officials have reported that among the items stolen was the political resolve necessary to offer a workable alternative to President Bush's Iraq policy.
-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she felt "violated" and doubted whether she could ever trust New Hampshire again.
-At a recent appearance in Iowa, Senator Hillary Clinton expressed her deep regret that a certain dark, unsavory element had found its way into the Democratic party while gesturing with her eyes in the direction of Barack Obama (D – Illinois)
-The burglary was reportedly called in by a simple-minded Alabama shrimping magnate with a compelling story and a heart of gold.
-DNC Chair Howard Dean issued the following statement directed at the perpetrators: "Please, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"
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