If Verbing Weirds Language, what does Adjectiving do?

Article at CNN claims that 31 people have committed suicide form the top of the Empire State Building. Wow. That's a classy/famous/awesome way to go. You'd think that they'd be pulling them down, or chaining them to the floor, or something. But no. According to the same article, 3.8 million people visit each year. Pulling numbers and arithmetic operators out of my ass, that means that 1 out of every 7 million people who visits there dies there. I mean, technically not even there. Where else could you take 7 million people and only have one die? And let's not forget the bomber
that crashed into that building. Man, if every place were made as well as the observation deck on the Empire State Building, we'd all be Methusalean.