Until 4:45 AM this morning, I thought pure research was dead. Who cares about gluons and muons and waxons when we can just write computer programs to not care for us? I thought that it was just not worth investing in answering questions no one was asking.
But it is. Take this example of a useless question: "What is the optimal length between beeps of an electronic device such that they will occur often enough to make Dan Bentley want to shut it off, but rarely enough that when he goes into the living room he looks stupid waiting for the beep, then trying to turn off every device in the general direction?" You may think this isn't worth answering, but if you had, you could have made several millions of dollars off a consulting contract to the company that makes my roommate's cell phone.
At least, I think it was his cell phone. I unplugged the VCR, whacked my chess clock, turned over couch cushions galore. If we had had a cat, I would have attempted to power-cycle it, too. Sorry Mittens.
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