Luxury's Lap

Mich Napolitano always was a funny bird. One of those guys who would be eccentric if he had money, but as things stood he was just plain crazy. I remember him explaining his Wiccan beliefs to seventh-grade me (he was an illustrious eighth-grader), when my knowledge of witchcraft was almost entirely culled from Nick-at-Nite reruns of Bewitched. And he and John Atkinson did a great scene from The Importance of Being Earnest at some high school drama festival (I can't remember who was Algernon and who was Jack, but, neither can the characters, so it evens out). So maybe it's because he's carved himself a niche in my mind's pantheon, but Mich Napolitano is the only person whose choice of Dunhill cigarettes I can respect.

You know Dunhills. Reds, Blues, Menthol Greens. They're the "top shelf" pack on the 7-11, holding their noses higher than the Camels and Marlboros to the left. They cost more, sure, but remember: you're not paying for a premium blend, you're paying for status. These have not one but two of those tin foil wrappers on the inside, presumably because a "Dunhill Man" needs to savor his cigarettes with a bit more freshness.

But if you really care about the quality of your tobacco, are you really shopping at the 7-11? No, you are not. You are shopping at Nat Sherman's or Mac's Smoke Shop or some store which caters to your taste. You are buying a brand no one has heard of because you think it will suit your palate better. If you are buying Dunhills, it is because you have an extra $1.80 burning a hole in your pocket and you want to treat yourself to "the best". The same reason that people buy Grey Goose or Glenlivet or Tanqueray Ten. These are not the best, these are just the best popular members of their classes.

So, enjoy your faux luxury. Drink it down. But I hope a small part of you remembers: there's no such thing as the best rum. So either invest as much time as disposable income and sample a wide range of sorts to develop your taste... or drop a packet of sweet and low in ethanol and call it a life.