Pissing in the Wind: Round IV, or, Why Dan Hates Freedom

I wholeheartedly agree with what Baron von Foster wrote, and honestly, have little to add. So to diverge from our usual weekly format, I will now direct my ire to Castro de Bentley.

In the original posting, Daningrad wrote:

President Bush has made it clear, though, that any more aid is going to come not from the government but form the public. Right. Cause Americans have such great hearts.

Why, comrade, do you hate America? Is it the freedom you hate? In an obscure post from several years back, he wrote:

Yes, I hate freedom.

(note: the author is paraphrasing)

So there you have it. He hates freedom.

A bureaucratic eunuch from the UN, financially supported no doubt from Dan's anti-freedom PAC, claimed America was being "stingy" with their aid. To which America grabbed our collective crotch and replied, "Stingy deez nuts!" Private donations have been pouring in so heavily that agencies have more than they can possibly use. Doctors Without Borders even told people to stop donating money to tsunami relief (people are more than encouraged to give money without earmarking it to the Asian crisis, but that's a whole different story).

But back to why Dan prefers to sleep with a cool, all-encompassing iron quilt rather than a nice, warm capitalist blanket. Digging further into Dan's shady network of writings, we find another window into his drab, beige-colored mind:

You know what I hate even more than freedom? Private property. Know what I really get off on, though? The rationing out of resources.

(note: this quote is from an actual article that was never written)

So Dan likes to give away his things to super-happy-fun-benevolent government, and then stand in line for hours on end to get his weekly allowance of slurry. Well, what's keeping you, Dan?! Is it freedom that's keeping you from doing this?! Why do you insist on hating freedom!

"Communism was a good idea," he says, "it just had some bad leaders." Know what else was a "good idea" with bad leaders? Gigli, and that movie fucking sucked. "What about socialism? Sweden and other Scandinavian countries are basically socialist, and they're doing fine." Oh, they're doing fine, alright. But when Lars and Hans aren't too busy building clogs, ice-skating around in chocolate leotards and combing each other's white-blonde hair they're hurling themselves off buildings. Not to mention their governments aren't socialist, but actually run by free-masons with idyllic visions of an uber-Aryan state.

I don't know about you, my sickle and hammer bearing friend, but I'm going to go buy some deep-fried fast food from a multinational corporation, make numerous unnecessary purchases of goods produced cheaply in third-world countries, and go write inflammatory things about my government.

(Same post, different blog)