A Farewell to Calls for Arms

I Mailed my absentee ballot today via Her Majesty's Royal Air Mail. As I sat on the Hall Quad, or waiting in line at Jan's Pantry for a Baguette, trying to decide once and for all which oval to fill in, Brits one and all seemed to have an opinion: "Don't vote for Bush or I'll take it away from you" said Dom. "Make sure you pick the right one, ma-love" Jan told me. "Kerry/Edwards or they won't deliver it" Matthew says. The folks at the Post-Office seemed to regard the "Official Civilian Overseas Absentee Ballot" label on the envelope with a note of desperate hope and foreboding. It was as each of them were telling me with their eyes, "we're counting on you chap. Don't let us down, not this time."

I understand their concern. To be British and politically thoughtful is to have genuine concerns about the world, whether you vote Labour or Lib-Dem or Tory. Its a once-upon-an-empire that's now struggling to find its place between its own glorious past and a future with either the United States or Europe at-large. But all of them understand that their own fates are entwined with ours and with the fates of all the citizens of the world. And this doesn't make them guilty of a kind of shallow cosmopolitanism so common among Hollywood actors and M.A. students at the Walsh School. No, the Briton can care about the stability of Europe, and yet spend the pound and veto the EU Constitution. The Briton can care about Kashmir though his colonies there are long gone. The Briton can have genuine, deep and almost inexplicable affection for America and Americans, and yet question the war in Iraq because by God his brother is in the Black Watch in Fallujah. The Briton can do all of these things and be as loyal to the Union Jack as Churchill or Thatcher. Why? Because he's seen empire and been humbled, and for all intents and purposes, he's usually a decent neighbor.

So to Dom, Jan, Matthew and all the nervous Brits, I can only offer my best and the continuing affection of my countrymen. I don't see the same visionary in John Kerry that you seem to, I see a mediocre, absentee wannabe statesmen with a hapless ambition, and I wonder where have all the great Americans gone? But even still, I don't think I let you down on that ballot. My vote is confidential, but I will say this: His name starts with "M" and ends with "ichael Badnarik". Cheers.

-Foster

PS: If all the self-hating American socialista backpackerazzi here say they are voting Kerry/Edwards 2004, how come all their shirts say Abercrombie/Fitch 1972??